pseudo man no more…

21 Jul

skyrim_daedric_armor-wallpaper-1024x768Well hello there.
You just caught me in the middle of another batch of bath tub grade pseudo intellectual nonsense. Pull up a seat, and have some won’t you?
It’s been a pretty good week and weekend I suppose. I don’t really have much to report sorry to say. At the moment I have every intention of making this a weekly report and gradually providing some visual content to accompany the literal. BUT… pickins’ is slim this week kids and I feel a bit like a negligent preacher as a result. Not much of a moral to not much of a story I’m afraid.
Got the lawn mowed and laundry done and all is well on the homefront.
In two weeks Melanie and I have an appointment for an ultrasound. At which point we will know the gender of our little one. We’re both hoping it’s a girl to be honest. I don’t want to speak for anyone else’s identity but my own, and I’m not afraid to say that a baby girl would just elicit a bit more mature masculinity from me in the respect that it would just be naturally expected.
If it’s a boy then it’s just another one of us, running around here, nerding out with little regard to anyone else around him. That’s what we do. I mean right now, at this very moment, while i’m typing this, I am also power leveling my Skyrim character’s conjuration ability in order to activate a quest for a sigil stone to obtain some Daedric Armor. (If you’re a female you might need a translation for that last statement- and here it is.) I’m killing time, playing a video game. Daedric armor is like some of the BEST armor you can get in the game and my step son was playing the game recently and showed me a trick the other night that allows you to get your avatar hands on some. Case in point.
But if the baby is a girl, I feel like I would be naturally compelled to maybe spend a little less time trying to one up the boys, and step into a more active and protective role of paternity. A happy playful little girl would make me want to build little doll houses by day and at night I would take up a real life sword and stand vigil all night by a fire, waiting to chase away any ne’er do wells with just a grizzled stare and a snarl of my teeth. I mean I’m sure a little boy would also elicit the same feeling just by the fact that he would still be just as innocent and helpless. But eventually we could both be found dumbly picking our noses in our underwear and waiting to guffaw ourselves senseless over the next digitally enhanced heavily armored decapitation or draemora banishment. If it was a girl, I just think I would I feel like a more developed MAN because I would be required to be one. She would need me to be. And that would be nice….
Yet, I realize that the baby is not responsible for my view of myself or how I conduct myself. Quite the opposite in fact. But the effect it has on my self awareness is an undeniable and ironic expectation… but who knows? Some girls like video games too I guess.
I just hope it’s a happy healthy baby and as smart and beautiful as it’s mom, and that its only developmental problems are because it is just as smartmouthed and stubborn as it’s dad. I think the most important thing I can do though… in all perfect honesty… is to just FOLLOW THROUGH with my commitments… I don’t think my own archetype met the mark for me in that regard and I think it messed me up a little bit in my own decision making as an adult. So I think that is where I will definitely need to rise where my predecessor fell… No slight to my parents, but the example that I set is required to be better than what was set for me- and that need, that requirement will be present for me regardless of the baby’s gender.
But for the moment, I need to finish up on this soul trap power leveling in order to succesfully banish the unbound draemoras from the roof of the hall of attainment. And I need to put some pants on before my wife gets home. Until next time True Believers!


Posted by on July 21, 2013 in Uncategorized


3 responses to “pseudo man no more…

  1. Sarah Bryant

    July 21, 2013 at 9:25 pm

    Little words of advice in parenting a little girl… Demand the same discipline, manners, and effort as from your boys, but be an inviting and empowering safe haven for her to come to when she feels inadequate. 😉

  2. christopher521

    July 22, 2013 at 2:06 am

    at 9:00 (about five minutes ago) I felt the baby move for the first time!

  3. Susan Elliott

    July 22, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    You can have lots of fun with a little boy especially with your imagination. But I too would love to buy little girl stuff for a change. Love the blog. This one was funny. Keep them coming. Mom


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